Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
