White coat. Heels.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
