Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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