Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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