mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
