We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
