Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Acid is not a monday night drug
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
