He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
