i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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