we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
