Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
