Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
