There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
