I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
