did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
