hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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