So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
