A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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