Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just want to make out with him forever
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
