HIV tests are more positive than that guy
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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