What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
