3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
