can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
