No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
