I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
