brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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