No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
