his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
