my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
