You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
