wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
