I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
