I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
