what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize