dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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