we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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