First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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