What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
