im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
