I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
