what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
