You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
