i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
