she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
