are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
