if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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