the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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