Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
