woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
