I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
