so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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