the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
