chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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